Obituary

This week had flown by and I was having one of those moments where I honestly couldn’t remember what I had done. All I knew was, it was Saturday. I had no work and I was sat reading the paper, the same thing I do every week. I drank my cup of tea which was barely warm at this point but I couldn’t remember when I made it. Wow I really needed to wake up. I turned the pages of the newspaper rubbing the ink on my fingers reading stories of celeb scandals, a car crash with very little information and new recipes from an award winning chef that stupidly thinks they can get exotic ingredients at the local supermarket for less than a fiver. Nothing really interested me until something in the obituaries caught my eye. I never usually read these but it’s hard to notice when it’s your name that stands out in bold print.

I read the few short lines and again, then again. Over and over I read until I was sure it wasn’t just someone with the same name. But it was clear, the grieving family names was that of my mother, father and baby sister. I shook my head, who would do this? I gripped the phone and dialled my mum. As it rang out, my mind was racing thinking of what on earth she would think if she read it. I tried my dad’s mobile, switched off.

So I rang the newspaper. A rather snotty woman answered the phone. 'Yeah' she coughed

I was in no mood to be nice back

'I’m reading your obituaries and I’m looking at my own, I’m not dead, this is a mistake, who did this?'

She tutted 'I’m just the receptionist, you need to speak to the editorial chief' and she put the phone down.

Now I was really mad. I rang back.

'News desk'

'You are extremely rude. Do not put the phone down on me. Put me through to your editorial chief please.'

'Cant, he's not here'

'Then put me through to whoever is above you?'

Without a word I was put on hold to ghastly none lyric music for several minutes before again I was cut off.

Third times a charm. 'I was cut off again. Look I’m alive, the obituary is wrong, can you please get someone to call me back?'

'Sure' she said as she ended the call without even taking my details.

'Arrrgh' I voiced as I slammed down the phone. You don’t get that satisfaction with a mobile I thought. I tried my mum again but it just kept ringing.

I looked at the newspaper again. The funeral said it was today at the local cemetery. Rather short notice for those reading the paper today. I gripped my coat, brought the paper with me and made the short walk down the road to get to the bottom of this. The place was deserted when I got there I couldn’t even find the priest or vicar or whoever it is that does a funeral.

I didn’t want to wait around so I went for a walk. I can’t go in all guns blazing to a man of the lord now can I, I thought. I strolled around the outer edge of the cemetery until a large group started to arrive. I headed over calmly, the last thing I wanted to do was upset someone’s grieving family. I stood back as the priest shook people’s hands and offered condolences and watched as people piled into the service building. I hadn’t been to many funerals and felt really uncomfortable especially as I was the only one not wearing black.

The last group of people entered the building and it was then I saw faces. My mum. I ran over as quickly as I could entering at the back of the room as she sat down at the front.

'Mum' I called out, 'What’s going on? Mum!' I started sobbing as I saw my picture on an easel in the corner. My friend turned around and stood up.

'Shhhh' she whispered.

I looked towards her. 'What’s going on?' I mouthed

She stood and walked over gripping my arm leading me to the back of the room.

'I don’t understand' I sobbed

She gripped the newspaper in my hand. 'you didn’t read it' she said

'I did'

'then read it again'

'I read ten times' I snapped angrily

'Then you read only what you wanted to see. read it again'

I huffed and lifted the paper. I started from the beginning. The name, the date. The date. It was dated last week.

'It’s a week old'

my friend nodded. 'Keep going'

I read the newspaper articles again, celebs. Car crash.

'car crash. Its right outside of town. Ongoing investigation. Is that me?

She stared at me blankly.

'what happened? I asked still refusing to believe I was dead and at my own funeral.

'You rang me at 2 in the morning to tell me you were heading back home. You were out celebrating your engagement. I told you not to get in the car'

Tears strolled down my face and I looked over my friends shoulder to my mum. Watching her cry onto my father’s shoulder. I brushed past and knelt before her.

'Mum, it’s okay I’m right here' I cried

'she can’t hear you' my friend said standing beside me. Then it dawned on me.

'Then how come you can?' I quizzed

'I told you not to get in the car'

'How can you hear me?' I screamed

'When you put the phone down, I jumped in the car and came to town to pick you up. I was hit by a drunk driver' she said looking right through me 'You look, but you don’t see, do you? she continued before disappearing before my eyes.

I stood up to see 2 coffins side by side, my friends picture on an easel on the other side of the room. I turned to the obituaries. And the one right next to mine was my best friends.

'I killed her' I spoke out loud as I walked to her coffin and placed my hand on top of it.

I broke down 'I’m so sorry' I said as I heard the familiar ring of my phone.

'Hi, this is the editorial chief, I believe you rang earlier today. I’m very sorry for the mix up it seems your name has gotten mixed up with a similar post of someone proposing to you. I hope this hasn’t caused you any distress'

I lowered the phone from my ear without replying to man on the other end and looked around the room. People had turned in their seats to stare at the stranger crashing a young couples funeral. The pictures were no longer mine or my friends faces and the crying woman was not that of my mother.

I had never ran out of somewhere as fast as I did. I headed home and slammed the door behind me. I turned the pages of the newspaper looking for the proposal but before I could find it the phone rang. My best friend.

'Congratulations!' she screamed 'You did say yes didn’t you! Just do me a favour if you get drunk tonight call me I’ll come pick you up, there’s been an awful drink driving story in the paper this morning...'

I nodded numbly and realised today wasn’t a huge mix up. It was a warning.